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| There was music. They sang and we listened....we sang and they learned. He and I stared into each others eyes briefly.....there was silence.....nothing was uttered and all was said.....Yet, so much was felt.....once again, that which exists within me, sleeps.
Abel.
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| Wow, I guess it seems as if it has been a long time since I had an entry at all. I hadn't had the chance to even check my e-mail 'til about a few days ago, read up on the few but always welcome comments that people post.
I finally took the North American Veterinary Licensing Examination (mouth full) this past Friday. It was horrible, a 9 hour head pounding session of questions that literally drains everything from you. I drove to Tulsa that morning and just hoped for the best but as much as you think you may be prepared for the exam, you never are. The questions were very clinical based and it just dragged on. It is a multiple choice exam but all the options are very good and although you may know that A & B may be the answers, you can only choose one. You may also know the answer and it may not be one of the choices given so you have to go with what you may consider the next best. It was just horrible but the good thing is that it's all over now and I should have the results in by mid June...yeah, ridiculous!! In the meantime, I've started looking for a job on campus at one of the research facilities and hopefully things will go smoothly; give me the chance to make some money and also take up some of my favorite hobbies that had been placed on the back burner for a while now. I may go visit my brother in Indianapolis, a few friends in Chicago, the parents in San Antonio or family members in Cancun and other parts of Mexico.
I very much secluded myself from everyone during those last few weeks. The exam was very important for me and there were days I didn't even see my roommates. It was a long haul but now I'm back into training hard at the gym, vocal lessons, boxing, BOOMER!!, reading and a bunch of other things. I've been hanging with the group of friends I usually do, making new ones (love you Meagan!!), playing volleyball here by the pool, catching baseball games...just taking in as many enjoyable experiences as I possibly can. .....I love it.
As far as the episodes in the last entry are concerned, I've moved on. Head games are tiring and there are so many other passions I have, life itself being one of them. Yeah, I was a bit hurt by the lack of response on all sorts of levels from Jake but I can't expect everyone to be as "dedicated or determined" as I am. I was there and very willing, it just didn't happen. I'm very content with how I feel now, relaxed and focused on many other aspects of my life. I know I've accomplished alot and there's alot more I want to do. I hope all my friends, family and those to come, can be part of it all....Yeah, I'm doing just fine...just fine.
Abel.
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| Saturday night was....a long night. The usual clan was out and about getting liquored. Lauren and I spent the evening having wine and watching a movie called "French Kiss". Afterwards, we decided to join a group of my friends at Murphys bar where she had a couple of drinks and then went home. I just kept going, drink after drink...yeah, this morning wasn't very pleasant. I had a great time though. John, Glenn, Jeremy and myself...always good times.
I was ...surprised when sometime around 3 a.m. Jake sent a text message to my phone. He apologized for his lack of contact and what not. All I did say was that he needed to let people know what was on his mind because it's terrible having to guess...I can't do that. If he needs a friend or whatever, I'll be there. I believe I've taken a step forward, if he decides that he wants to approach me then I guess he'll do so...who knows I can't continue to elicit a response from him if its not there....he'll have to voluntarily do so. I'm a good guy, honestly...why not take the time and get to know me?
So it seems a bit late in the day. I think I'll go for a quick workout, dinner and get some reading in. Classes are over for now and so all I'm going to be doing is studying for the boards. I will talk to all of you soon.
Abe. | | |
| I've put some thought into taking a break from xanga for a while. It's not been decided yet but I'll let you know if and when that happens.
Last weekend was pretty social. A group of friends and myself went out to the local bars and yes, I did get pretty wasted. I have no idea how but guys numbers are logged into my cel, and I have no idea who they are...pff. The following night I went to Meagans' apartment, just upstairs from where I live to another party for a bit. That same night I met Jake. He spent the night and no...nothing happened. We spent all day sunday together also...damn sweet guy. Planned on hangingout yesterday, friday but just as every other guy I've met, he didn't show or call. The story of my life . After a tiring match with myself, trying to figure things out, I finally called Jilliantt. He's a guy I met years ago and who has been with his partner for about 8 yrs now. He always puts things into perspective, thats why I love him. I finally understand the way I should be approaching this "guy situation". Not trying to understand them or solve the riddle of what they want. Continue on with no expectation, enjoy the company, always know that with guys that say.."don't do that 'cuz it gets me horny" means they want you to continue. Really, just go along for the ride with a blank mind of what might happen and 100 times out of 100, you'll be ahead of the game. It's a matter of just living life in a "lighter" way.
I'm gonna go have dinner with my friend Lauren and then afterwards go out with the roomies and some friends to a bar tonight. Workingout, eating healthy and boxing seem to pay off. Vocal class is going well also and in 13 days I'll be in OKC taking the boards. It's definitely a ride  I'll talk to you soon.
abel. | | |
| I decided I should delete this entry. It's for the best. | | |
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